Motherhood And Me
Do you look at motherhood as a role, job or identity? I used to get so caught up in what motherhood means to me and who I am, but being a mom is like being a wife in some sorts.
As a wife you do take on certain responsibilities but paying bills or wearing a ring doesn’t have anything to do with who you are. It simply means, amongst many things, that you are in possession of a husband.
And I believe motherhood is the same way. Becoming a mother means you are in possession of a child. And yes, it’s also thinking twice about everything, once for your child, then for you. Having your heart walk around outside your chest and all that Jazz.
But regarding you as a person I don’t think “motherhood” is this all encompassing thing so many are trying to make it out to be. If you were selfish before kids I feel like you’ll be selfish with them. If you were a hard worker before kids I feel like you’re work ethic won’t change with them.
I don’t mean to make light of what we all go through and do as mothers, but for me it seemed like I was trying to find some identity in motherhood when I already had one. And I felt like they were clashing with preconceived notions of what I thought moms aught to be.
And thinking of motherhood through this lens became very freeing. I wasn’t wracked with mom guilt about every little thing. Although let’s be honest it never truly goes away. But I didn’t feel like I was always failing at something or missing some imaginary mom feels.
And it has nothing to do with the precious people I’ve been blessed to mother and nurture, but more of a mindset shift into abundant motherhood. Bringing who I already am to motherhood rather than trying to find myself in motherhood.
I’d love to hear your take on this topic and whether or not you’ve had some of the same thought and feelings.